Tin man...

Last month I sold Josh's horse- it was the spring kind that you bounce on. He was absolutely beside himself with grief- cried for hours and moaned around the house like I had told him Christmas was canceled this year. I sell everything, and if it isn't worth selling, I take it to Goodwill. Sometimes I buy toys and get rid of them a month or so later- I HATE clutter and get a high from keeping it out of my house. I am weird- but clean... Ryan is sentimental, it drives me crazy because he keeps things. Most days I have to warn him when I am in the mood to throw things away and he hides things from me. When we told Zack that we were selling the horse, he leaned over, took a good look at it, slapped it on the butt and said, "it's just a stupid girl horse anyway." I smiled, turned to Ryan and said, "He's just like me..." To which Ryan replied, "Heartless??"
Now fast-forward to yesterday. My Grandpa Gunderson was in the hospital. He had strained his old heart (the man is 90) carrying large boxes of stuff from his downstairs to his garage trying to clean out the basement. While in the hospital everyone agreed that it was time that he moved out of his house and in with my Uncle and Aunt. I went over last night and started helping Grandpa clean his house to get it ready to sell. It was meant to be easy- this is my "thing".
One of the first things we came across was Grandma's magnifying glass- she passed away in 2001. I turned it around and around in my hands remembering it always being on the kitchen counter where she could easily find it with her bad eyes. I could not throw it away- I sat it on the end of the counter where it belonged and moved on. Most things were easy to find pile for, we worked hard. Then today, I went to clean out the bathroom and there were Grandma's curlers and combs. The saturday evenings and Sunday morning memories spent with Grandma in her curlers for church while my dad was outside farming flooded back to me. Along with the memories came the tears- I stood in the bathroom, covered in dust as the tears streamed down my face- there was no way I could throw away Grandma's curlers.
So here's to you my husband- I have found my heart- at least a piece of it. It is curlers and magnifying glasses. It is early morning milking time which I spent eating toast and watching price of right with my Grandma- it is the evening milking time that I spent eating cheese and crackers watching wheel of fortune- it is always knowing that if Grandma was not in the house I could find her bent at the waist picking weeds in her garden and help her pick peas. It is reading "Are you my Mother" for the 1000th time- which by that time Grandma's eyes were so bad that she could only read it to us because she had it memorized.
That is where a large part of my sentimental heart is- with my Grandma- where it will stay forever.